News Outlook Your Hometown Newspaper January 16, 2014 - 13
CONTRIBUTING WRITER
By Harry Patrick
What we see when
watching others depends
on the clarity of the win-
dow through which we
look.
The sound of the rain
on a tin roof has always
been a comforting sound
to me.
The room where I've
set up my office is lo-
cated in the smallest
room of my trailer. The
window looks out on the
fields and trees in the
distance.
Do others see what I
see when I look at that
scene through my win-
dow?
Do others hear what I
hear when the rain falls
on the tin roof above my
head?
Probably not, but I've
had a lot to think about
over the holidays and
I've contemplated those
two thoughts, "do you
hear what I hear? = do
you see what I see?" I've
thought about not writ-
ing any more for the pa-
per, a position I've played
out in my head from time
to time. My editor deals
with me on a very pro-
fessional level when I'm
like this. He leaves the
situation up to me. He
said "the door is always
open", so I'm walking
through it this week.
You see, he hears what
I say. He sees what I see.
I don't know if he feels
what I feel, but he is in
my ballpark when he
says he understands me.
I'm not an analytical
person, but from talk-
ing to my counselor and
listening to experts talk
about what I view as "my
problems", I've come to
the conclusion that the
weight hanging around
my neck like an albatross
Who do you think you are."?
who read the paper, who
couldn't care about me
one way or the other and
I now believe they were
the people I was trying
to impress, trying to
get them to "come over
to my side". But, I've
turned a corner in that
thought process and I
now realize those people
aren't worth the effort. I
don't need everybody's
approval for what I say
and do and think.
It has been said by
several psychological ex-
perts that if the person
you are talking to, can
answer "yes" to these
three questions, then
that person has given
you validation.
1. Can you hear me?
2. Can you see me?
3. Does what I say
mean anything to you?
Like I said, I've had a
lot to think about over
these two holidays and
through actions and
words, I know the peo-
ple who I consider true
friends do, indeed, vali-
date me. A "true" friend
is someone who allows
you into their life, no
matter what you bring to
the table.
Four people I 've
known for a long time
answered "yes" to these
three questions, by their
actions and their words
toward me. When I real-
ized what was happening
to me after I talked to
these people, the weight,
the albatross, fell from
around my neck.
my feelings. They all
"dismissed" me. Those
people I don't need any
more, either.
But, these four people
who validated me over
the past two weeks said
they had always valued
my friendship, my con-
versations, my beliefs,
had always accepted me
for who and what I was.
I'm not going to try
to pull the wool over
anybody's eyes and say
this "validation" issue
is the answer to all my
problems, but it's a step
in the right direction of
my goal of having some
peace come into my life
during the last years I
am here on earth.
But, I still have my mo-
ments, my "meltdowns".
There are days when I
still get angry over "un-
resolved issues" like the
ones with my ex-wife and
the people I "let" take
advantage of my vulner-
abilities.
I still believe, and I will
say it again, I believe the
person I turned out to be,
the person who makes
irrational decisions at
times, was formed in the
darkness of a house on
Sour Springs Road over
a period of years and I
don't feel like I've ever
fully escaped that dark-
ness, but at times, I do
see the "light" and for
those times, I am grate-
ful, but the years I have
spent fighting those
nightmarish memories
have taken a toll on me
of my personality, that
anger that raises its ugly
head from time to time,
when I least expect it,
coming out of the blue
and smacking me upside
the head. It is not pretty.
But, I'm not going to
defend my mood swings
any more to any one. My
past history has been laid
out there in public for ev-
eryone to see. I allowed
you to look at it. I gave
you permission to view
my life through my writ-
ten words, so if you're
looking for something to
criticize about me, I don't
believe you're going to
find anything I haven't al-
ready told you.The plain
and simple fact is, some
of you readers don't like
to hear the truth and you
respond defensively, not
having anything more to
do with me. That's your
own albatross you're car-
rying around your neck
and until you get rid of it,
you will not find peace.
Secrets and lies will
eventually destroy you if
you don't one day "own"
them.
I'm not ashamed to
admit I am illegitimate,
grew up in poverty, am
a surivor of sexual and
emotional abuse, that
I was treated less than
human by some people
who were in my life at
a certain time. I'm not
ashamed to admit any
of that, because none of
it was my fault. It was by
the "unlucky" draw of
the cards dealt to me.
a "religious" person but
not necessarily a "spiri-
tual" one, you know, "in
touch with the universe",
what other people are
feeling. Maybe I "feel"
too deeply, I don't think I
do, because things touch
me deeply, very deeply
and I don't consider it a
weakness, I consider it a
blessing.
My individuality is
very important to me,
too. I've seen people lose
their individuality when
they form a relationship
with another person,
their "significant other".
That is a dangerous
thing to lose, that indi-
vidualism, because that's
what separates us as
human beings, defines
our uniqueness from
another person. If you
throw that out the win-
dow when you form what
you believe will be a last-
ing relationship, you are
throwing who you are,
out the window.
And as an individual,
I've let you in on the
most personal details of
my life, but no one ex-
cept God has the right to
judge me on any level.
When Phil Robert-
son from "Duck Dynas-
ty" spewed his hatred
against a culture of peo-
ple who were not like him
(thank God!), a cousin of
mine agreed with him
100%, saying gay people
were less than human,
less than godly, like dirt
under their feet. I'm
paraphrasing, but that's
what I heard.
People like Phil Rob-
ertson and my cousin
hear what they want to
hear. They see what they
want to see. They profess
to be Christians, but the
God they say they wor-
ship is not the God who
walks with me every day.
My God doesn't hate me,
doesn't judge me, doesn't
abandon me when I need
help. That belief in Him
is so strong, no one can
shake it, not the Phil
Robertsons of the world
or the people who think
like him.
I understand he and
my cousin are protected
undei" the Freedom of
Speech Act to think like
they want to and it is
their right to think what
they will, but I don't be-
lieve the Freedom of
Speech Act supports
unmitigated hatred and
prejudice.
What we see when
watching others depends
on the clarity of the win-
dow through which we
look.
Who do you think you
are, the one who looks
through a dirty window
and makes a judgment
call or are you the person
who cleans the window
through which you look
so you can see the real
picture?
Who do you think you
are?
You see, and it's a hard
thing for me to admit, I
tried to win people's ap-
proval of me through
various means = helping
them out, lending them
money, taking them to
the doctor, loaning them
my car, giving tlem a
mentally and emotion-
ally.
The one person who
was a "witness" to my
childhood, my sister Bet-
ty, is no longer here to
say she was a witness, so
I'm the only one who can
attest to what happened
A lot of things I do now
and care about now are a
reflection of the environ-
ment that shaped me.
I know I'm not a good
housekeeper, I don't have
to be told that. I know I'm
antisocial, I don't have to
be told that. I don't have
Happy 95 th Birthday
r
Noble
Adams
for most of my adult life;":place to stay, trying to
is the fact I've never felt get them into rehab an[
people "validated" me
= as a person they want
to listen to, as a person
they want in their "social
circle", or as a person to
lend credibility to. So,
I am more than mildly
surprised when I am told
that a lot of people like
what I have to say. Some-
how that fact didn't total-
ly sink in, until recently.
I know there are people
the list goes on = I always
thought these kind acts
by me would account for
something in the long
run, i.e., that these peo-
ple I was doing all these
things for, would "re-
ally like" me, but it didn't
work out that way. When
they were "through"
with me, they went their
own way, without so
much as a thought about
Bid Notice
The Bath County EMS is accepting bids for a Mechanical CPR device. Specifications
for this device are available at the Bath County EMS office. You may contact them at
606-674-8158. The deadline for accepting bids will be January 23, 2014.
Published in the Bath County News-Outlook 01.09.14 and 01.16.14
Appalachian ChalleNGe Academy
Harlan, Kentucky
Seeking 16-18 year olds for Class 04
Accepting Applications through January 19th
22 week residential program
Earn GED or recover high school credits
[ NO COST to participants l
Call Toll Free
1-855-KY-NGYCP (1-855-596-4927)
PUBLIC HEARING NOTICE
The U.S. Department of Commerce, Economic Development Administration (EDA)
is considering a request for Federal assistance from the City of Owingsville to
construct a project on Kendall Springs Road, Bath County, KY. Thus, the purpose
of this notice is to insure compliance with the National Environmental Policy Act of
1969 and U.S. Presidential Executive Orders 11990 - Protection of Wetlands and/or
11988-Floodplain Management, pertaining to construction of an equalization basin
and pretreatment facility at the Owingsville Industrial Park WWTP located at the
following coordinates: 38 ° 7' 36.806" N, 83 ° 46' 11.452" W
Detailed engineering informatior will be on file and available for review between
9:00 A.M. and 3:00 P.M. at the City of Owingsville's office. A public hearing will be
held on Monday, January 27, 2014 from 11:00 am to 12:00 pm at Owingsville City
Hall located at:
19 Goodpaster Avenue
Owingsville, KY 40360
606.674.6361
Persons desiring to comment on the aforementioned project pertaining to its impact
on the area's wetlands or floodplain may do so by submitting written comments to:
Regional Environmental Officer
Atlanta Regional Office
U. S. Department of Commerce
Economic Development Administration
401 W. Peachtree Street, NW, Suite 1820
Atlanta, Georgia 30308-3516
Phone No. 404-730-3002
Comments will be accepted through 4:30 pm on February 17, 2014. The project
will be located in the Kendall Springs - Bath County Industrial Park area of Bath
County.
Published in the Bath Count[ News Outlook on 01.16.14
to a'neov certain pe=
riod in my life.
I don't like to dwell on
that aspect of my life,
because it does make
me angry, the anger ly-
ing just underneath the
surface, ready to come
forward. I don't like that
part of mIf life t that part
a lot of money or mate-
rial things, I don't have
to be told that, but I am
comfortable in my own
skin, my own sexuality
and foremost, comfort-
able in my own spiritual-
ity. Yes, I said spirituality,
not my religion, my spiri-
tuality. I think ]fou can be
Thank y00,u
The family of Bobby L. Cole would like to thank everyone
for all the food, flowers, cards, and prayers. Words cannot
describe how touched we were by all the shows of support
from those around us. It would be difficult to thank each
one of you individually. However, we would like to send a
special thanks to Bro. Lowell Rice and Bro. Anthony
Anderson for their kind words. We would like to thank
Taul Funeral Home for a lovely service. Also, a special
thanks to the Owingsville Christian Church and their
women's group for the wonderful meal they prepared
afterwards.
Janet, ]ennifer, Rick and Anita
Pleasant View
furmture
%
I, Jeremy Bailey, would like to declare my H
candidacy for the office of Property H
Valuation Administrator. I am the son of Elginll
(Jr) & Linda Bailey. I am also the grandson II
of the late Elgin & Vivian Bailey and the late ii
James & Alma Wells. I am a lifelong resident ii
of Bath County. I am a 1998 graduate of Bath Ii
County High School and 2003 graduate of [I
Morehead State University. I look forward tol[
meeting each of you in the upcoming months, l[
Your support is greatly appreciated. II
II
Advertisement paid for by candidate. [I
t/
Love you and
proud of you!
Buster and
Janice
Born Jan. 17, 1919
S::: r hd; a:u 7::bt ° Saal e
Come see Dan for a great deall full listing.
Since 1991
3 1/2 miles SE of Flemingsburg, Ky. on
Rt. 32 (next to the Valero Gas Station)
606-845-0540 • 1-800-710-4822
Quality is our Goal! Ask for Sam Yoder
or Dan Esh
, o ,,:
. . .
Dwaine Curran runs for 72na[
District State Representative
I
Dwaine Curran, now officially a Republican candidate
for 72nd District State Representative signed his
paperwork at the Bath County Clerks office on
Monday morning. Shown with him are, from left,
Chuck Kesler, Bath County Republican Party
Chairman; John Bradley, Korean War Veteran and
long-time Bath County farmer; and Rev. Lowell Rice.
Curran said, "It's an honor to have these men stand
witk me" Curran said. Curran's address is P.O. Box
54, Sharpsburg, KY.
Paid for by candidate
