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Bath County News - Outlook
Owingsville, Kentucky
November 28, 2002     Bath County News - Outlook
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November 28, 2002

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Jur00 Quiz This week I thought it wot be fun to give you a quiz and test your knowledge of our jury system. Answer true or false.to the following ten questions, and then see the answers along with a brief explanation. No cheating! 1) Kentucky does not require unanimous verdicts in certan cases. 2) In most cases, judges and juries disagree on the verdict. 3) Juries never impose sentences after reaching verdicts. 4) You can be kept from serving on the jury if your hair is red. 5) Lawyers can be called for jury duty. 6) The Constitution guarantees you the fight to a jury trial only in criminal cases. 7) Television cameras can be present during a trial, even if the defendant objects. 8) Over 90 percent of all cases never come before a jury. 9) Women may be excluded from jury duty solely because their gender. 10) You may not sit on a case as a juror if you have heard anything about the case. 1) True - Kentucky, along with 28 other states allow less than unanimous verdicts in most civil cases. Kentucky requires that at least 9 jurors agree. All criminal cases require a unanimous verdict. If a jury cannot reach a decision, a mistrial is usually declared, and the case is retired in front of a new jury. 2) False - Studies have shown that they agree at least 80 percent of the time. A judge should only overturn a jury's verdict if it is determined there is not substantial evidence to support it. 3) False - Kentucky, along with 12 other states, requires jurors to pass sentence based on statutory guidelines. 4) True - Each side in a case is given a number of peremptory challenges, and usually no reason need be given to exclude a juror. 5) True - There is no automatic disqualification for any particular job category. Lawyers seldom are picked however to sit on a case. 6) False - Both the United States and Kentucky Constitutions provides for jury trials in most civil cases. 7) True - In Kentucky, it is ultimately up to the judge whether to allow broadcast of a trial. If it is allowed, there are guidelines for the court to follow. Federal court trials are not allowed to be televised. 8) True - Most cases are plea bargair’, , fiettle0,,QLtd,e,.d before a judge. With more liberal rules of discovery, eachide generally knows most of what the other side's evidence is, making the results of a trial more predictable. Also, increased use of mediation has contributed to a greater number of settlements. 9) False - Both the United States and Kentucky Supreme Courts have held women may not be excluded from sitting on a jury due solely to their gender. Discrimination based on race is also improper. 10) False - The key question is not whether you have heard anything about a case. Instead, it is whether you have formed an opinion about the case based on what you have heard. Only if you have lost your impartiality are you then disqualified. COPYRIGHT @2002 WILLIAM B. MAINS e Bath County NSOUflOok OwlngsvlUe; I AD 0000ICaN! WHKI" t'" j V00A,T WOULP PlRtVE? drug " " 2onsider it the 'miracle ' of tod00 y, tNs product truly worked like it claims We have all thought of products and inventions that would change the way we live and ultimately make us wealthy in the process. Sometimes, just simple products are created because someone sees a need and is clever enough to come up with a solution and lucky enough to get a patent, get it in production and market in on a large scale. Probably one of the most sought after products today, are weight loss products. Everyone wants to be slim but dieting is one of the most difficult tasks we can face when we live in a world that is centered around meal- time and food. And as we get older, metabolisms slow and we tend to keep those unwanted pounds at a rate of several each year until we suddenly are carrrying a pretty heavy load. Then there is the issue of energy, or lack thereof. And of the course the list goes on. All of the problems that typically plague us, come about with age and are non-reversible---or at least we thought so. Then I got an email about a product that does it all. Here are just some of the claims that caused me to chuckle when I read them: • Reduce the amount of sleep you need. This would surely be a good thing because the older I get, the more sleep I want and as I was always told, you are supposed to need less. The difference between need and want apparently. • • Cause wounds to heal faster. This would be handy. The next time your wife slips in a new disposable razor they have something. But even gray is considered a color. • Grow hair back where it had once fallen out. This one I love. Suddenly, my friends will swear I have joined the Hair Club as the spot suddenly begins to cover over with newly- grown, colored hair foUicles. Butwon't this product stimulate the growth of hair in other locations? • Tighten skin. Right now my skin is quite tight, expecially across my mid-section. However, if it would work, it would be the pain and ex- pense of a face lift. • Strengthen bones. We all need strdng bones. Remember that our mothers told us that drinking milk would make for strong bones. What and doesn't tell yof%nd ydule :' she didn't tell us was th it really down on your neck like you are carv- won't matter when we reach our eld- ing a turkey, you won't have to worry long about unsightly wounds for long at the dinner table. • Lose weight while you're sleep- ing. This is the perfect way to shed those excess pounds. Eat a chocolate cake and sleep it off. No worries No guilt. • Become less winded when excersizing. This benefit would cer- tainly be handy in the unlikely event that I am overcome by the urge to start jogging or race up a flight of stairs. • Put color back in grey hair. Now erly years. • Body builders use this to build your muscles quicker. This has to be a marvelous product, but how can it know to build muscles, erase fat, add hair, tighten loose skin, and add color to our colorless hair? This has to be the smartest product ever Invented. If this product were tq work, the manufacturer certainly hhs a block- buster on its hands. Since most people would perceive it as "too good to be true," then most of the masses won't buy into the claims. Look for the disclaimer that likely says: "Results are person." The only thing the claim to make you, is rich and looking, as all the other claims they make. •••••KM••••• Bumper stickers for women: • So many men; so few who ( afford me. • God made us sisters. us friends. • Coffee, chocolate, men. things are just better rich. • Don't treat me any dJ you would the Queen. • I'm out of estrogen and a gun. • P.M.S.- pass my shotgun "Warning! I have an know how to use it. • Of course I don't look busy. I i't right the first time. • Do not start with me. You will win. • All stressed out and no one choke. • I can'be one of those bad that happens to bad people. • How can I miss go away ? • Don't upset me. I'm runnin places to hide the bodies. • If you want breakfast in bed, I suggest you sleep in the kitchen. Fom the files of "RUSS METZ", 1919-1996 Smile, you're photoanalysis came::a When Sigmund Freud was a kid, his old man must have whaled the tar out of him. He developed an Oedipus complex, which all kids contract from getting spanked. Anyway, the patron saint of head shrinkers advanced this theory which describes the psychological love of a male child for its mother and a consequent hatred of its father. It usually happens at the age of four or five, when the kid is too small to fight back. The Greeks were always doing kinky things and what they wouldn't do they would make up a wild tale about it. That's called a Greek myth, from where we get the 1040 tax return. Oedipus, according to Greek fibbers, was the son of King Laius and Queen Jocasta and was exposed on a mountain because it was foretold he would murder his father. And old dad didn't want him around just in case the soothsayer was right. Oedi was found by a shepherd and reared without knowing his ancestry. When adult he happened to meet his father, Laius and, after a quarrel, killed Laius without knowing who he was. Later he met the queen and married her. Years afterward he learned the truth and blinded himself. Jocasta, his mother-wife, committed suicide. This was the first Greek X-rated myth and it made it big in off-Acropolis plays and left bank operas. But Freud never told us what a simple photo could tell you. If your mother always loved you best, now you can prove it to those doubting Thomases by whipping out the family album and taking a long, hard look at. Dr. Robert U. Akeret has written a book called Photoanalysis and it tells you how to shrink a photo. What you do is take a crayon and box in dad and mom with the nearest offsprings. This is supposed to show favoritism, even though the photographer may have grouped you that way so no one was hidden in the picture. He uses the Kennedy family photo, for example. Using boxes to encircle those children posed nearest to the parents, Dr. Akeret shows how the Kennedy sons were central to Mamma and Pappa while the girls had to eke out an existence on the sidelines. So what, Joe knew he couldn't make any of the girls president. Then which kid in the fourth grade picture is Alois Schicklgruber? Easy. But at nine, you have to look close to see Adolph Hitler's mustache. Freaky. Just the stuff shrinks thrive on. Whitman, who shot 34 people from the top of a Texas tower. In the snapshot, Whitman, age two, is holding two rifles. Nice. Even in ordinary family album photos, the doctor can rattle a few skeletons. Such as finding rivalry between a brother and sister. All little brothers hate little sisters so naturally the photo is going to show junior trying to sneak in a haymaker on sis to make her look bad in the picture. With the use of photographs, Dr. Akeret has shown his patients the meaning of gestures frozen in family shots, asking them questions like: Would you like to be a member of this family? Or, would you buy a used car from this mean little dude? Wait until he shrinks one of the Brotherhoo1: ). His photoanalysis could start a whole new gang war because they don't trust each l RUSSMETZ ] other even without photographic proof. Or tells Sammie Davis Jr. that sticks and stones may break his bones but Greek myths and hugging U.S. presidents will never hurt him. The camera does strange things to people. Maybe even brings out the real you. They used to tell the story in Rome that Mussolini died and went to Paradise, where he was greeted warmly by Napoleon. "God will be here in a few minutes," said Napoleon. "Since you are new here, you should probably be warned that we rise when he enters." "What! I get up? Never, I am the Duce ." "I am Caesar," said a voice. "Yet I have the manners to rise." "Not I," says Mussolini. The argument warmed up as Machiavelli approaches. "Peace, friends," he said, "I will arrange everything." Three solemn knocks announce the coming of God. "Attention !" thundered Machiavelli. "Here comes the pho- tographer." Mussolini jumped to his feet, folded his arms and out his chin and chest. Say "cheese" and let's hope it isn't limburger and ana' lyzed to come back and stink up your family tree. -RM- Funny thing happened the other day on my way to telling a friend about the wondrous ways of a buckeye as a good luclC charm, a therapeutic object to ward off all kinds of c tse and a reason to keep your hands in your pockets and leave yotff neighbor's alone. He laid a fidget stone on me. It' s a little rock with a in it to fit your finger. Claimed it was prettier than a buckeye, more powerful than a sackful of pills and able to leap over nervous breakdowns in a single rub. Superstone. In New York posh shops they come in jade and go $9.50 each, which has a therapeutic effect on the merchants who sell them. Like a swagger stick, the fidget stone is a status symbol for those too proud to whittle and too scared to crack knuckleS. : When you get wound up with the price of gasoline, you stroke it with your finger and the massaging is as soothing as a lullaby, they tell me. But not for one minute do I think it will replace tile buckeye. Show me an oldtimer willing to trade his coppa I wristband for one on the hope that it will cure rheumatizz. Inflation has brought forth the fidget stone as a image of man' s prosperous stature. For years, he did not a rock to rub to remind himself of his station in life. He had coins made of real silver that, when dropped against another, would give off a most reassuring ring. Those days a felloW' could stand on any street corner and jingle the coins in his pockets loud enough to assure all the girls he was a man of tla’ world. A buckeye, like a fine briar pipe, takes on a rich lustre when rubbed against the side of your n se. S’ special oil secretion from your skin at the certain place gives it the sheen. That doesn't do anything for a fidget stone. I might buy one for my wife and teach her how to rub it the right way, so she will stop rubbing me the wrong way. Onward, outward.